Cast:Pat Morita, Eric Roberts,Lalaine,Alexander Wraith,
Director:Babar Ahmed
Writer:Babar Ahmed
Release Date 20 July 2010
Genre:Action | Thriller
Language:English
Country:USA
Director:Babar Ahmed
Writer:Babar Ahmed
Release Date 20 July 2010
Genre:Action | Thriller
Language:English
Country:USA
It’s an odd habit of mine that I sometimes actively seek out a certain kind of bad film. Not a film that is offensive, or merely mediocre, but something that is jaw-droppingly awful. One that is misguided every step of the way. It takes only a mere amount of apathy to make a mediocre film. It takes a high level of ambition to make something that it truly awful. I love deciphering honesty and ambition through the prism of misguided talentlessness and above-the-bar film-biz avarice.
Hence, my special pilgrimage with a friend (hi, Marc!) to drive about 50 miles, all the way from West L.A. to Covina (the only place nearby that it was playing), to take in a non-marketed piece of obscure zero-budget exploitation trash like “Royal Kill.”
“Royal Kill” is certainly a HolyFuckingShit kind of movie. Special thanks to CineFile Video (http://www.cinefilevideo.com/) and the CineFamily at the Silent (http://www.cinefamily.org/) for pointing out that HolyFuckingShit is less an reaction, and more a genre in itself.
“Royal Kill” starts with a long, dull bit of exposition which is spoken over a still digital painting that looks like something from a D&D knockoff. Evidently, there are two imaginary kingdoms at war somewhere near China. The Evil Side has killed allbut one of the heirs of the Good Side’s king using their wicked/hot assassin chick (professional wrestler Gail Kim). The Good Side enlists the help of Adam Artahvan (Alexander Wraith, yes that’s his real name) to find the last heiress and protect her.
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